Most marital difficulties are because of shattered trust, lack of communication, continual bickering. Also money problems, and more, may be overcome, but indifference is one of the lesser recognized reasons why marriages fail.
The cliché says that the antithesis of love is apathy, not hate. While hatred and rage are not pleasant feelings, they demonstrate that you care. But want your partner to know how you feel. Indifference, on the other hand, conveys the message that “I don’t care enough to devote my time and energy to you.”
The appearance of indifference might be misleading. Most couples don’t see a problem until it’s too late since there are no hot disagreements and communication is superficial but respectful.
Why marriages fail: Causes of indifference
Marriage needs continual attention. When you stop working on your marriage, you fall into a condition of apathy that is tough to recover from.
In marriage, indifference can also be a sign of concealed grief and bitterness. When your sentiments and emotions are buried behind a lot of hurt, it’s easy to not care or feel anything. Some people employ indifference as a kind of retaliation against their partners who have harmed them. It’s their way of expressing, “I don’t care if you don’t care.” The problem is that they ultimately get to the point where they are too skilled at not caring.
How to Deal with Indifference in Your Marriage
Talking about apathy in a marriage is the first step in dealing with it. If you want to get your marriage out of a rut, you and your partner must admit that there is a problem. If you are the only one who believes there is a problem, you will not get very far; this is why marriages collapse.
Reminding your spouse of the happy moments is one technique to assist them understand there is a problem. Remind them that marriage does not have to be so dull and lifeless.
Once you’ve admitted there’s an issue, try to figure out what’s causing the apathy. Determine what underlying pain or resentment is obstructing your happy sentiments.
Some couples may handle this on their own, while others will want the assistance of a counselor. When you address the underlying hurt and anger, your good sentiments will start to return.
Finally, putting in work is the only way to shift from an unhappy marriage where apathy is the norm to a joyful and fascinating marriage. Marriages collapse because partners are too indifferent to work on their relationships.
