While for most people, falling in love and getting into a relationship seems relatively easy, for others, it’s something else entirely. When just the thought of living together, buying an apartment, getting married or having children comes up, they get a hot flash… It’s the fear of commitment.
Fighting the fear of commitment? How to spot it?
The origin of the fear of commitment
We usually say that the fear of commitment is only a manifestation of other fears that we have not yet faced. It can be the fear of failure, the fear of suffering, the fear of abandonment, the fear of disappointing oneself or being betrayed, the fear of giving up one’s own freedom. These fears do not arise from nowhere, they often come from childhood or from unhappy experiences. Finally, it is important to understand what happened in the past in order to move forward and consider a future together.
3 signs of fear of commitment
Generally, those who are afraid of commitment also flee any form of project for 2.
This kind of people are found in passionate relationships, living their story 100%. And when they suddenly feel trapped or oppressed, as soon as they feel that things are getting a little more serious, then they go off on a tangent.
Commitment phobics are not the proactive ones, they are not the ones who take the initiative to break up. On the contrary, they suffer more than anything else or remain in a fixed position.
Here are the main signs of fear of commitment:
The person is in denial
Sometimes without even realizing it, the person rejects his or her emotions. In turn, this makes it very difficult to trust the person, as you don’t know where you stand. You tell yourself that there is something else, something that is not right between you. You may even find yourself doubting yourself and imagining that the misunderstanding is your own doing. Indeed, the person who is in denial cannot tell you what is wrong because he or she does not see it. They try to defend themselves at all costs, they contradict you. And the more you insist, the more they close in on themselves.
Their behavior changes continuously
Here again, the person has difficulty positioning himself. There is a growing gap between what they have promised you and what they are offering you. It always seems as if they are taking one step forward and two steps back, as if they are sending the impression that they have little interest in their partner.
This person may express what they feel or want through physical affection, but when it comes to expressing their emotions or attachment, they shut down. The opposite is also possible, where you show yourself to be madly in love with them with a lot of declarations, but no physical intimacy.
She creates a distance with you
This happens relatively early in the relationship. The person creates a form of distance. For her, the distance is a habit, an escape route from discomfort or embarrassment. Suddenly, his/her work takes up all his/her time, he/she is more interested in his/her phone than in you, he/she does not look you in the eye anymore, he/she often answers that he/she is busy or tired.
Tips for fighting the fear of commitment
. Face your fears of commitment
It may sound simple to say, but it is a mandatory phase for a good relationship. Learn to identify your fears, face them to be in agreement with yourself. It is even possible that your partner can help you…
. Take your time
Commitment phobics do not know how to manage the notion of time. They commit themselves fully from the beginning of the relationship in a passionate way and seek to flee as soon as they feel too committed. The important thing is to take your time, to communicate continuously in order to progress step by step.
. Desacralize the couple
Of course, your couple is important and it must remain solid to resist in time. But don’t try to put everything on your couple, build yourself in a personal way too.
